I Have Zero Interest in This

Please tell me you're spending your Saturday doing something more productive than watching the Kentucky Derby. If you're watching anything at all on this gorgeous Saturday (at least in Wisconsin), hopefully its baseball. Otherwise today is a great day to spend outside with the kids or your buddies. Just please don't tell me you're watching the Kentucky Derby.

Look, I know there is a lot of tradition in the Kentucky Derby, and it's the biggest day of the year for trainers, jockeys, and fans of horse racing. It's also a pretty fun day if you're a betting man. But don't tell me that the Kentucky Derby is the "Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports", because it's not. You see, I'm just not sure horse racing even is a sport.

If it is a spot, then tell me, who are the athletes? It's not the trainers. It's not the jockeys, unless you consider NASCAR drivers to be athletes. It's certainely not the horses. Call me old school, but I think if you're going to be considered an athlete, you have to be a human being. When ESPN put Secretariat on it's list of the top 100 athletes of the 20th century, I lost a lot of credibility for the Worldwide Leader. You're really going to throw a horse into the mix of Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Lance Armstrong, and others? It's a freakin' horse!

To me, a horse in the Kentucky Derby is no different than a stock car in NASCAR. You have to care for it, someone needs to steer in the competition, and they become useless to you when they get older. Only difference is, you don't have to clean up shit left by a stock car.

I know the Kentucky Derby means a lot to a lot of people, and that's fine. If you must, go ahead and enjoy watching the "Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports".

I'll be watching baseball.